Blasé attitude?

Last night I got into a discussion with a couple of family members about our attitude to cultural differences. Obviously being a family of ATCKs/highly mobile parents, we have no problem with cultural differences - in fact that's one of the main reasons for moving around overseas. But what we were discussing was our rather blasé attitude to those differences. Clearly if you were to drop me in say the middle of Kazakhstan, or any other country, I would notice that I was no longer in the same country I was in a second ago. But I don't necessarily consciously notice cultural differences anymore.

When I was in Belgium in particular, in an international setting, there were cultural differences all around me, some of which I picked up on. Others however I didn't notice immediately, especially since I've spent quite a few months (probably adding up to about 2 years) over the last decade in French speaking countries (France and Switzerland). But with the other international people I was around, I frequently noticed that they picked up on differences that I may have noticed, but hadn't consciously thought about. Most of these were the subtle differences that, once you've spent some time in one place, you simply don't notice. So I'm a little unsure whether this comes from simply my mobile background or from the fact that I'm somewhat 'used' to the French style culture that I was in.

Examples of the some of the differences I didn't notice were available foods in the supermarkets, locations of shops/other facilities (e.g. train tracks being right next to main roads, whereas in the UK they aren't), styles of greetings (kissing on the cheek or shaking hands, rather than the no contact British approach), etc.

It makes me wonder if, with time, TCKs gradually lose the ability to get as much out of an overseas experience as we used to. Or is it the other way round - do non-TCKs eventually have the ability to get more out of an overseas experience than we do, as a result of their fixed cultural mindset and their relative inexperience with other cultures? Or do we still get as much out of it as we used to - perhaps even more than a non-TCK - we simply don't necessarily notice it immediately?

On the other hand, when I repatriated, even though I was supposed to be living in my own/home culture, I almost noted the differences more than in my previous host countries. So maybe it's more a question of comfort. When I'm in a country where I am clearly not a native, I feel more comfortable than in a country where I'm a 'hidden immigrant' (i.e. I look the same on the outside and have the nationality, but inside I think different and my cultural views are simply not the same). So even though I might feel like I should fit in, I don't - making the differences more stark in my view than the differences I would experience in a country where I shouldn't and don't fit in culturally. In my recent case in Belgium, even though I looked like I could fit in (being white), I knew in my mind that there was no reason real reason for me to be expected to conform to their culture since I'm not Belgian. On top of that, I don't have a Belgian accent (in French) and my French isn't as fluent as a native speaker's - therefore I'm not really a hidden immigrant there. So in theory I could be a hidden immigrant (ignoring the language aspect) - just without the added pressure of feeling like something was wrong for not fitting in.

Christmas among cultures

The holiday season is beginning to draw to a close, and I hope you've all passed a good Christmas with family/friends/whoever you spent the period with! I've been with family and I'll be heading off to France (or at least a different part of it since I'm already in France) sometime around the middle of January. In the last couple of days I've found a small studio to rent, which is a big relief, since it was getting a little last minute and I thought I'd struggle to find something. Luckily something opened up and so I found something fairly decent at a good price (for a student!). Now I 'just' need to arrange a bank account, phone, internet access...

During the holiday I've been reading through the TCK book by David Pollock and Ruth van Reken and I got to thinking about the few months I spent in Belgium and the cultures I'd met up with there. Most of the time I was with Spaniards, Italians, Germans or English people, not with Belgians, but it meant I experienced a good mix of Western European culture - since they were all nationals of those countries and not TCK's like me, so they had their own home culture. As I mentioned in my previous post, at the end of my stay in Belgium we all got together for a Christmas meal. But when we discussed what to cook, the different cultural traditions came out. The English people wanted to cook a Turkey, the Germans wanted to cook a goose, and a Spaniard said "ah, we can cook a fish!" I didn't really notice it at first to be honest - since I'm used to cultural differences and they are 'normal' to me. I only picked up on it when the others started talking about it.

It was interesting, as a spectator, because I, an ATCK, got to see other adults becoming a form of ATCK. As they were all beyond their developmental years they technically weren't becoming TCKs, but they were experiencing cultural differences first-hand just the way I did first as a child - so actually watching it happen was something new to me.

Temporary constancy

I am now back 'home' for the Christmas and New Year holidays. I'll be spending some time in the south of France and then hopefully some time skiing in the Alps in early January, before going to look for accommodation (amongst other things) in Annecy, France, my next abode.

On my last night in Liege, I had a Christmas dinner with friends. We cooked a couple of turkeys, a load of vegetables and consumed plenty of beer, wine and gluhwein! At the end they all surprised me (I had absolutely no idea this was coming) by giving me a box full of 'memories'. They had bought a flag of Wallonia and signed it, there were also pictures of us during the time I'd been there, a Santa Claus apron (they considered me the 'official chef') and of course, being in Belgium, ubiquitous chocolate. Having always lived in places before where people are used to friends, schoolmates and colleagues leaving, I'm not used to being given something when I leave. It's just a matter of life - you accept the parting of a friend and you go on with your life. You know it had to happen eventually and, in a way, you've spent all the time you've been together preparing for that moment. The people I met in Liege weren't Belgian, but they weren't TCKs like me either - they'd always lived in the same place, so they weren't accustomed to the same level of mobility and change in social circles as me. So I was quite touched to be given the 'memory box', it was a nice personal touch and left me with several things of sentimental value.

But now I'm at 'home' (as close to one as I'll find at the moment anyway). It's a house which we've had for the last decade roughly and I come back usually at least once each year. Even though it's not really home (it's in a country I've never technically lived in before and of which I'm not a citizen) and I don't speak the language fluently (although not far off), it's a place I can come back to and which is familiar to me. So, at least for a short time, I feel a sense of familiarity - not necessarily like I'm at home - but at least something that I recognise and that is constant.